Just to make sure no one thinks I'm bailing on my own challenge, I thought I'd let you know what I've been watching.
Yesterday, I thought I should begin at the beginning, so I went to the website of Palm Valley Church, where Angie and I were baptized and really embraced our faith, and dug through the online messages. For some reason, I felt led to watch the first Parenthood message, and so I did. If you're a parent, grandparent or parent-to-be, I highly recommend you watch that series.
Today was a new day, however. I found out this afternoon that I won't be getting the Elementary Pastor job I'd been hoping to land for the last several months. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed when I first found out, however, the more I think about it, the happier I am that I didn't get it. God has a better plan.
Over the last few weeks, I've felt led to do something much bigger for God. I'm talking about something huge. So, while I've not quite put my finger on what that is, I thought I'd dig around on the Mars Hill and LifeChurch websites to see if God would lead me to a message that might bring clarity to the situation.
While I'm okay with not landing the job, I did really want it and I had an incredible time teaching the eight services I was given the honor of teaching for Eagle Brook. From that comes a few flesh hooks, where the enemy can dig into the sinful nature inside me and tell me things like:
"You didn't get that job because you're not good enough" and
"who are you kidding? No one would ever hire a loser like you to be a pastor" and
"you're worthless, how idiotic of you to even think they'd ever consider giving you a job like that?" and
"It's too late. You're too old to do anything for God now. Give it up."
And on and on...
But, you know what? That's garbage. That's the evil one trying to take me out of the game. In fact, it actually makes me happy that such things run through my head. Sounds nuts, doesn't it? Well, if I wasn't on to something, why would the enemy bother to try and derail me? No one who understands warfare fires on a non-threatening target. So, why waste ammo on a "not good enough, old, idiotic loser"?
Why? Because he fears any son of God with a heart to advance the Kingdom.
So, while I was digging around on LifeChurch's site, I found a message called "Whispers".
Knowing that God has whispered to me a time or five, I watched the message. And, lo and behold, it was by a guest speaker. None other than the "Pastor of Pastors" Bill Hybels. He talked about heeding the whispers from God. Even when things might seem contrary to those whispers. Even when it seems hopeless to do so.
So, I'm heeding the first whisper God ever spoke into my heart. "Patience".
That something "big" isn't in my cross-hairs yet, but I know from subsequent whispers it's coming. I just need to have patience.